Little Hitlers

The parents of young Adolf Hitler Campbell have been relieved of custody of the boy. “This is America, they say it’s free,” said the father. “You have a right to name your child what you want to name your child — no matter what.” True enough. “It shouldn’t have a meaning to it because it’s your name. A name’s a name.” Umm …

The thing is, he didn’t say that after they took his kid away. He said it after a Shop Rite in New Jersey refused to put Adolf Hitler’s name on a birthday cake.

So far no one’s saying just why the state has taken his kids, but it’s worth pointing out that “freedom” is the great rallying cry for German Nazis, too. Freedom for certain people.

     posted 15 January 2009 by Michael Scott Moore

  1. I like how his daughter got the middle name Hinler. I strongly suspect he was going for Himmler and just screwed it up. Still better than his OTHER daughter’s middle name, Aryan Nation. And wtf: New Jersey has skinheads?

    — Ben    Jan 15, 06:16 pm    #

  2. I think you’re right about misspelling Himmler. Not just New Jersey skinheads—dumb New Jersey skinheads!

    — Mike    Jan 15, 07:21 pm    #

  3. No no no, “Hinler” is the feminine version of Himmler. Like Georgina and George.

    — Bowleserised    Jan 16, 01:11 am    #

  4. Oh.

    Did they make that up?

    — Mike    Jan 16, 09:34 am    #

  5. Incidentally, New Jersey is the place where some Obama supporters woke up to find a burning cross on their lawn, so, yeah.

    — Bowleserised    Jan 16, 11:12 am    #

  6. My mother used to allege that my uncle, Alexander Hamilton Ward (“Sounds like a colored’s name, doesn’t it?”), was a member of a Ku Klux Klan chapter as part of his duties as a deputy sherrif in Peapack-Gladstone, New Jersey. And if you’ve ever been to the pine barrens, where Patti Smith grew up, you’d know that there are parts of the Garden State that are barely civilized. So none of this surprises me.

    — Ed Ward    Jan 16, 12:21 pm    #

  7. New Jersey? Depends on which exit.

    — e    Jan 16, 01:18 pm    #

  8. Nothing surprises me about New Jersey. California has its share of Nazis too.

    — Mike    Jan 16, 03:25 pm    #

  9. True enough—the Pine Barrens, the stuff of legend and home to the Jersey Devil, are some of the most backwoods (and backwards) parts of America. Blows my mind that Patti Smith grew up there (thx, Ed). Incidentally, one of John McPhee’s most celebrated books is about his time with the rural locals, “the Pineys” (turtle shell hats, etc.). And Mr. Campbell, he of excellent Nazi-naming skills, apparently comes from the other redneck part of NJ—the Poconos. God, that state is a trip. See: weirdnj.com

    — Ben    Jan 16, 06:13 pm    #

  10. Just FYI: Bruce offered a new song for Halloween called “New Jersey Devil.” For a while it was free at his website, but I’m not sure now. I also have no clue if it is coming out on an album (like the one due next week).

    e

    — e    Jan 16, 09:18 pm    #

  11. That hard blues song? I seem to remember it, but, hm.

    — Mike    Jan 16, 10:16 pm    #